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Over the past two years, I've experienced a range of emotions surrounding these big milestones, allowing myself the freedom to feel whatever comes up—whether it's joy, sadness, or something in between. This year, my Mom's second birthday after her passing was no different.
That morning, I woke up with deep sadness. I read her the birthday card I had chosen, allowing myself to truly miss her privately. I wished that she could be here with us to enjoy her favorite cake and share in the celebration.
But then, something unexpected (but welcomed) happened—about an hour later, a wave of positive emotions washed over me. It felt like the excitement I get after months of keeping a gift a secret, and then eagerly watching someone special unwrap something I’ve carefully chosen or made just for them. I realized that, despite the sadness, I was excited to honor her, to celebrate her in a way that felt right for both of us.
The rest of the day unfolded with that same positive energy. There was also a sense of peace that carried me through. I truly believe she was and is happy that the day was full of positivity and love, though I know she would understand sadness.
That being said, no matter the milestone, I hope you permit yourself to feel whatever comes up. Whether you experience those emotions in the moment or choose to set them aside for later, I wholeheartedly encourage you to honor your feelings and let yourself truly feel.
Happy Birthday, Mom 💙
-j🌻