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Image Source: Tima Miroshnichenko from Pexels . As the second anniversary of my mom’s passing came and went, I ended the day feeling...

Anniversaries of passing won't bring back loved ones, but they remind us we're one step closer to reunion—reframing sadness with hope.

Photo from Tofros.com "Is it crazy of me to not delete my Mom's phone number by now?" "My relative is telling me that I shouldn't be messaging my Dad anymore, but I feel like it helps me. What should I do?" "I still pay for my parent's phone, but people are telling me that I'm not moving on with my life. Should I stop paying for it? It's not a cost issue." These are questions I’ve seen asked often in online grief groups. Many people feel pressured to delete their loved one’s

2024 Of all the "firsts" this year, my mom's first heavenly birthday was the hardest for me. I think it hit me so hard because, unlike other milestones like Christmas or birthdays without her, this one was entirely focused on my mom. While I found some comfort in knowing she was celebrating the day with her twin sister, a deep sorrow weighed heavily on me. I had already cried several times before even getting out of bed. Still, I knew I wanted to celebrate her, and thankfully

2023 I never really believed in signs or an afterlife before. I saw them as comforting ideas, meant to ease the pain of mourning and offer hope that we’ll be reunited with loved ones after death. While I’m still uncertain about the reality of both, there have been far too many coincidences and synchronicities since my mom’s passing for me to dismiss them or belittle their potential meaning. Even on my toughest days, when sadness, anxiety, or flashbacks take hold, I’ll experie

Image Source: Monstera Production from Pexels.com I’ve reached a point where, when I think of my mom, I don’t see her as fully gone at all, and for that, I am truly grateful. However, it wasn’t an easy road to get to this mindset, though I’m surprised it happened sooner than I expected. There’s often a belief that, when someone passes, you should completely move on. If you continue to communicate with them or hold onto them in any way, it’s seen as not fully accepting their p

Image Source: Pexels on Pixabay.com Regret is a common emotion after losing a loved one, especially if you didn’t get the chance to say what you truly wanted before they passed. I’ve read stories of people whose last words to their loved ones were spoken in anger during an argument or who realized too late that their final opportunity to connect was a missed phone call because life got in the way. When that person is gone, the weight of missed opportunities, or the absence of

Image Source: Pexels on Pixabay.com I don’t remember much from my childhood, or even from just five years ago. My memories tend to come in fragments: a few specific events or a vague, generalized feeling that sums up an entire period of my life, usually defined by schools or jobs. What makes my memory even more peculiar is how I often recall things in the third person, as though I’m watching someone else’s life unfold. It’s strange, almost as if those memories don’t truly bel

Image Source: Pexels on Pixabay.com The topic of returning to work often comes up in the online grief groups I’m part of. Many people feel they’re not ready to go back, but their job won’t grant them more time off, which is incredibly frustrating. On the other hand, some are eager to return to work because it helps them avoid fixating on their grief and gets them back into a routine. If that approach works for you, that’s wonderful! Then there are others who are fortunate eno

Image Source:  Bella H. on Pixabay.com When we brought my mom and her urn home, I would often wait until late at night to go downstairs and speak to her. I would fight sleep or nearly fall asleep while talking to her. I felt the need to do this privately, when no one was around, because I worried that if others knew, they would think I had "lost it" or hadn’t accepted my mom’s passing. But over time, I learned that this behavior is an example of "continuing bonds." And in rea

Image Source: Nothing Ahead on Pexels I read early on that relationships often change after losing a parent or any loved one. I quickly noticed a sense of clarity about certain situations and found myself lacking the energy for specific people or circumstances. I was also deeply disappointed by some individuals I had expected to support me, as they were barely present or absent altogether. On the other hand, I received incredible support from people I hadn’t anticipated, and

Image Source: Lludmila Chernetska on iStockPhoto Another phrase I often see in online grief forums that can be irritating is "lost the battle." Many people who have lost loved ones to cancer find this phrase upsetting because it implies that their loved one wasn’t strong enough to beat it or that they gave up fighting. Neither of which is typically true. Having lost my mom to cancer, I completely understand why people dislike the phrase "lost the battle." I’m not a fan of it

Image Source: Augustas P on Pexels After the loss of a loved one, it can take time to shift from speaking in the present tense to the past. Sometimes, the present tense slips out, triggering a fresh wave of grief. It can even be embarrassing if someone gives you a concerned look, but please don’t feel embarrassed. In my opinion, there’s no need to change everything to the past tense. There’s no rule that says once someone passes away, you have to alter everything about them